Maybe This Time
by absentaserpis
Summary: Fuji discovers that just maybe he and his brother’s thoughts towards each other are not so different after all. Incest abound with SyuusukexYuuta aka Fujicest


AN: oo;; Ano. Sry sry. I know this ideas is rather... done muchish. Unfortunately my mind has been infested with loverly thoughts of incest between ze duex adorable Fuji brothers of TeniPuri. When we read this weird short story "An Occurance at Owl Creek Bridge" in english ¬¬ well I got ideas... and I actually wrote them down. Finally, a few weeks and all of Pengi's muchu pushing, taunting, bribing later, I had finally finished my first fic ever :b I'm oso vry new at this ^^; sou comments, criticism, et cetera would be luffud. I should have started with something a little nicer on my head e-e Oso, the title es taken from a song from the musical 'Cabaret'  
  
--;; Satori apoligizes for her psuedo speech and lack of seriousness up there... the fic is actually apose to be in english.  
  
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Ahh, a new year was almost upon us. I was quite pleased that my darling, naïve little brother could finally be home; and even better, away from his selfish, overbearing, narcissistic tennis manager, one who will not grace my mind, lest it soil this seamless set up.  
  
Yuuta hardly ever came home, which was most undoubtedly for the best, as much as I would hate to admit it. Still, can't I miss my own brother whom I cherish so dearly?  
  
Today was perfect. The house was ours do with as we pleased. Neesan, Kaasama and Tousan were out for some typical last minute shopping. I guess we do follow at least some traditions.  
  
Yuuta had draped himself lazily across the floor amongst the mass pillows that had fallen from surrounding furniture. Bluish-gray eyes were fixated on the rather large TV that occupied our home living area. I was minding my own business… well, almost… flipping through a magazine left about the house; a catalogue actually, to some sort of department store. It did not really matter, as long as it deceived my brother to a point. It would not do to have him see through my guise now…then I might never have him. Still, if his senses had been on any level similar to my own, he might have noticed my mind's casual meandering directed nowhere else but at him. This fault, this ignorance, made my sweet younger brother all the more desirable in my eyes.  
  
How could I not truly love my brother? He has always been my muse, my reason for forging ahead. I am driven for no one else but him. I'm filled with an admiration for the strong will he has, that will to catch me. I have to watch over him, to protect him and his goal. At the same time, I strive to provide a formidable challenge.   
  
Even now, I could not help but perceive each movement, which caught my already infected attention. I could feel each toned muscle shifting with boredom and some anxiety under his slightly soiled jersey. He had only just been gathered from practice. Still, every score acquired over the years, the few beads of perspiration that still adorned his forehead and each fatigued sigh signifying all the relentless toil, I found endearing, for they all said something about, and were all part of Yuuta, here and now.  
  
I shuddered to think what it would be like to run my hand through his soft unkempt hair, caress his boyish face, to lightly flick my fingers over parted lips, such an object to desire. How I wished to rest his head against my chest, a pleasant pressure against my breath. I longed to feel his body intertwined with my own as I let my emotions fall before him, if only to get some hint, some reaction. But how could I ever attempt any action that would sever my relationship with Yuuta? I often wonder, which is more agonizing, the pain of not knowing, or the pain of rejection. I could only dive deeper into the safety of my own mind.  
  
However, it was not within my power to prevent these thoughts from affecting my being. My body soon betrayed my mind, or perhaps vice versa. I don't even recall setting down the paper, sliding off the couch. I just remember slipping up behind him, vaguely shaking as my arms encircled his slender waist. I sensed the immediate tension in his body but mine did not yield. I brushed my lips across the nape of his neck, too light to pass for a real kiss. Then again, enough to get my reaction. He struggled from my relatively light grasp. I sat up to a pleasant surprise. My little brothers eyes were flaming, not with hatred or confusion, they reflected only a mild fear and great… anticipation?  
  
He appeared so angelic, silhouetted by the hazy glow from the television. I felt like some demon ready to pluck the fruit from Eden. But I was utterly fascinated by his expression. I had to act. Moving forward and with closed eyes, I raised my head until I felt his soft lips beneath my own. It tasted sweeter than anything I could have ever hoped for. Yuuta did not budge an inch but rather, to my disbelief and satisfaction, and with an understandable reluctance, he grasped me about the arms and pulled my body closer to himself. My hands, seemingly of their own will, dared to travel under his jersey, trail teasingly up and down his chest, trace soft enticing circles with the very tips of my digits. I felt each shudder of elation that ran through his body, which gave me incentive to press on.  
  
Taking hold of Yuuta's shirt, I carefully slipped it over his head and tossed it a distance from us, taking the ephemeral break to glance over my brother. My finger traced over his bare abs, up his pectorals no longer heaving from past exertion but the current predicament. They lingered briefly just under his chin before descending to the back of his smooth shoulders, resting thus. This body, this essence, this heart was most certainly the definitive definition of perfection. My own eyes rose to meet his, that displayed such love and admiration, nervous though he was. I'm sure a genuine affection was reflected in my returned expression.  
  
My lips caught my brother's all over again, my tongue seeking to explore the inside of his mouth, slowly but forcibly. Yuuta's fingers were at work, unbuttoning the casual shirt I had dressed in. Its fall from my shoulders prompted a sharp intake of air, a reaction to the cool air that grazed my bare back.  
  
Had I been so blind? My beloved brother's wishes coincided with mine. My relation to Yuuta seemed to disappear. It was certainly the lesser of two evils. Sometimes it just hurt when he was not around. And yet, here we were now, a tangled passionate mess not only of body, but of mind and soul. It must have been then I realized how much he truly meant to me on every plain. This moment unlocked all the hidden meanings to those emotions lost in the depths of my heart, ones I thought I could never express, and instead were suppressed.  
  
My mind whirled with the thought of each possibility our position conjured. Even as I left a trail of soft kisses from his delicate mouth down his neck and further, I felt myself slipping. I could barely make sense of what would take place.  
  
It was Yuuta's voice that brought me back to reality.  
  
"Aniki? Oi, Aniki!"  
  
His hand passed in front of my face as if to test my consciousness and I realized in a heartbreaking instant, a bona fide reality, much to my great dismay. With a drawn out sigh shaded by minor depression, I sank further into the impression I had made in the bulk of the couch, my head coming to rest on the back. Shimmering slits that would be my cerulean eyes averted themselves in a pathetic attempt to relive the vision in my minds eye. I should have thought no other piece of my composure could have given me away.  
  
"Aniki, Are you… okay?"  
  
Yuuta's tone forced me to glance back at him. He was concerned; there was a distressing anxiety reflected in his eyes. My eyes widened to view his state better. My mouth fell open but the voice failed to respond. I was utterly speechless. I'm sure this was partially due to the fact that I was still shaken by the delusions I had experienced… at least at this moment, I was hoping that was what they were. I never wanted him to feel the slightest pain, especially not a pain caused by me. I was now certainly ashamed that I lacked the necessary control to handle myself in either situation.   
  
I suppose those sweet hallucinations still lingered, afflicting my actions. I would not know what else prompted me to steal my brother in my arms, who had been standing over me so invitingly. I risked holding him close in such a warm embrace. Conversely, he seemed to remain cool. If he was ever at all bothered, I could write it off as brotherly love and pull back, for the time being.  
  
"Ne, Yuuta… Thank you … I'm all right."  
  
I whispered this softly into his ear but my voice remained one that reflected no more than my usual pleasantries. I clung to him no longer than what felt acceptable for our connection. Pushing him out, arms length away I held my hands up to his cheeks framing his delicate façade, carefully noting the pale pinkish hue that rose to shade his face.  
  
"So please, I don't want you to worry about me."  
  
Those sparkling gray pools must have doubled in size as I held him there. His mouth became mobile but it took some time for a voice to follow suit.  
  
"A… Aniki… I…"  
  
Before the rest of the words slipped from his mouth, I opened my hands to slap his cheeks; certainly not hard enough to hurt him in anyway, but still an effective disruption from his train of thought. I probably could not have handled what he was most likely unprepared to say. Yuuta's expression returned to the typical glare and air of frustration that had always been saved especially for me. He hit me back to the couch and resumed his place among the sea of pillows with an indignant snort.  
  
This was my younger brother, but more importantly, this was Fuji Yuuta, someone whom I cared for deeply, more so, I think, than anyone else; someone who would care about me in return. Nevertheless, that year's difference was a larger obstacle than I could perceive. Yuuta was still too young, I thought decidedly. Yuuta was not ready too come to terms with all I would offer to him. I had to learn to be patient, even more so. Someday Yuuta would be able to make sense of everything I have done. I was confident that that day would come soon.  
  
Maybe next time.  
  
O~wa~ri 


End file.
